She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, “Why don’t you go pick some of the mushrooms thatare growing wild down by the stream? No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.” “Well, I see squirrels eating them […]
A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner told them, “I’m not going to sugar-coat it. This is one ferocious […]
A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, “I’m so old. I’m so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment.” Her husband determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, “Well, […]
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. “What in the heck is that?” asks Kate. “A condom”, replies Pam. “This way my cigarette doesn’t […]
As she was walking through a lovely park, she noticed a sad man sitting on a bench. Next to him, there was a very tiny person playing a tiny piano. The woman got quite curious, and decided to approach and ask what was going on. She said, “Hello, what a […]
A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?” The dad says, “No. You had your chance.” A minute later the boy screams, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?” The dad says, “No. You […]
A girl was sitting in a meadow and pulling on something that was hanging on a sack between her bottom and legs.She pulled and pulled it longer until a stream pouredinto an opening up to her thighs.It was the maid, she milked the cow.You old pig, what did you think […]
“Officer,” he said, “I can explain.” -How? -the officer replied. “Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket.” -Don’t lie to me. -says the officer. “Let me show you then.” So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out drugs, […]
